本帖最后由 柏木雪狐 于 2017-9-29 11:09 编辑
都是没什么营养的自说自话，不必细看
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Until now, i still unconsciously recalled those days i haunting on Ashfield and Canterbury at the middle of 2015. I was stuck there, and it seems never comes to an end. I lay down at the backyard of my rented Ashfield flat. I stand agianst the mirror on my rented Rockdale flat, still trying to record every part of my torturing memory in my cell phone, just in case i couldn’t forget those painful days. I read the article of the Shanghai oversea student stabbed his single mother, just because his mum didn’t transfer money on time. That news made me feel more depressive, its been three years since i come this far away, and i miss them very much. Never in my life that I recall how great and generous they are.
At that moment, i start to think about coming back but i still not quite sure. There are still lots of progress which need myself to finish as the property owner, and if i wish to pause my degree and apply for gap year i also need to do it by my own.
Those days, coincidentally, were also the coldest days in Sydney. When I fled to Rockdale, another mistake i made is that I thrown most of my clothes and thinking that’s quite unnecessary since I only stay simple for 3 months of the last semester, so i “can” concentrate on study, which is absolutely stupid idea.
The place that you can take a good rest is absolutely the most worthy part that you shall spend money for. And i didn’t even do that. fxxx man, what is it in my mind that made me didn’t withdraw those $3000 on Stars and keep playing at CAP600-1000, while sleeping in my friend’s living room for $140/week just for saving money?
Anyway after that miserable fail, i decided to follow a robotic routine for my last semester of master degree. Every single day the schedule is EXACTLY the same, but eventually it unable to maintain any longer. Cooking by myself takes much of the valuable time and i m also sucked at it. But for the surrounding area, i just get so fed up with those sxxx food, not even one could match up my most common seen Chinese traditional food, even the Mac & KFC tasted much sucked than China decorated ones.
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Last Sunday my buddy Jacky drove me home at midnight. I told him everything about Phoebe, my depression, my agony, my winning and losing, my roller-coaster swings. Everything.
“You can’t let those pain ruin all your potential joyful future. You shall set the memory apart and move on. But by all means, you never forget about it. All the faith you need, just believe you got your own good life and the reunion opportunity may still come, whenever ten yrs or 50 yrs.It’s in your mind, just keep it, save it, but not let your life driven by it.
He TOTALLY got me there. I think i m living very good now, sincerely.
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